Drowning
by lilmisswritergal4eva82719511
Summary: Tancred; He came back, but he never came back.


**A/N: I suggest listening to "Addicted" by Kelly Clarkson while reading this. I did while writing this. Kind of A/U aftermath to when Tancred drowned (hence the title). So I wrote some of this in January, and then stopped, and then I was looking through some of my unfinished stuff and saw this and was like, "Oh hey, it's like half-finished and I'm kind of in a rush." Is it kind of sad that I had a week to write this and I didn't? My friend Jackie says I can no longer complain about how I never have the time to write because I don't actually write when I do have the time. Curse Jackie and her logic.**

**Disclaimer: The Charlie Bone series belongs to Jenny Nimmo. Not even going to try to do something creative with this.**

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Billy thinks that Tancred lost his will for life. He's right.

Because Billy used to listen to Tancred talk about the world so brightly. Tancred wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but he always told Billy that he wanted to do something big and amazing and make sure the world remembered him.

Billy knew Tancred always believed in him. He never looked at Billy and thought _'he's the younger kid,'_ even though there was a four year difference between them; he looked at Billy and thought _'he's the kid that's going to do great things.'_

When Billy brought up this to Tancred, the older boy looked lost; like he never thought those things. Because Tancred doesn't remember anything from before.

* * *

Charlie thinks that Tancred is a shell. He's not wrong.

Because Charlie used to look at Tancred and be in awe of how put together Tancred was. Tancred was the one everybody could count on for a joke when things were way too serious and everyone was about to explode with stress. Tancred could be in the most life-threatening situation ever and he would start complaining about how the other day's football match sucked and how the wrong team lost.

Charlie was studying for an exam with Tancred and all Charlie saw was Tancred's dark-circled eyes that lost their sky-blue colour and all he heard was a monotone voice asking questions to him.

There was nothing else. No sort cheer or brightness. No Tancred; just his skin.

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Fidelio thinks that Tancred is far away from reality. He's far from inaccuracy in that way.

Because Fidelio remembers his very first day of Bloor's Academy, he asked Tancred for directions and the older boy sprouted out the answer so systematically, Fidelio thought he was a robot. When Fidelio asked how he knew the way so easily, Tancred had made a cheeky joke about how he'd had detention enough times within the past three years to know the school better than the back of his hand.

Fidelio kept his ear to the ground and so he knew Tancred went the wrong class seven times within two days and that was _bad_, considering in two days, there was eight classes.

When he asked Tancred what exactly happened, Tancred looked right through him, as if he didn't exist and right then and there, Fidelio knew Tancred wasn't with them anymore.

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Gabriel thinks that Tancred is scared. He's correct.

Because Gabriel practically grew up with Tancred, so he knew what makes the older boy tick. He knew that Tancred would never look back, behind his shoulder, because Tancred always said that people who did that had monsters they were scared of. And people who were scared would hide from those monsters and let themselves waste away in hopes that those demons would go away.

Gabriel still remembers the day Tancred swore he would only ever look over his shoulder if he had a ghost haunting him. Gabriel knows he meant it literally, but it applied figuratively, because it just had to.

They were waiting by the bus stop, the two of them, and Gabriel saw Tancred turn his head around and look behind him with his eyes slightly wider than the should have been when he thought Gabriel wasn't looking.

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Olivia thinks that Tancred is broken. She's dead on with her assumption.

Because Olivia thinks back to when she looked up to Tancred, who was so wild and free and _whole_. A time when she could look at Tancred and easily point out every part of his _soul_ because Tancred was the boy who put his heart on his sleeve and showed it off the world. Tancred had nothing to hide and he was _proud_ of it.

Olivia saw him once, staring at the ground quietly and if it weren't for the fact that she already knew the problem, she wouldn't have been able to figure out what was wrong.

That thought scared her like nothing else because she wasn't sure if Tancred was able to pick up the pieces. He was so destroyed that she couldn't even tell if he wanted to.

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Emma thinks that Tancred forgot how to open up. She's not very incorrect in that aspect.

Because Emma remembered the first conversation she had with Tancred as herself. He told her that his art spoke for him, and could always tell anyone anything that Tancred himself couldn't put into words. His art spoke volumes, truths that Tancred could never say out loud, because he didn't know how or he wasn't allowed.

Emma knew that Tancred could look her dead in the eyes and say something with the most sincere and earnest expression and tone; but if his art said otherwise, the art was to be believed.

She watched him paint one day, and he never noticed her once. He wasn't even paying attention, just moved his brush across the easel with such ease that caused her to be jealous… until she saw the finished product; a boy in a box that was closing in on him.

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Lysander thinks that Tancred thinks he's alone. He's not far off.

Because Lysander was _always_ Tancred's 'go-to-guy' and now he refuses to even _look_ at his own best friend. Tancred stares off into space, isn't able to focus at _all_, he can't even stay near water for more than a few seconds. Tancred doesn't speak to anyone, unless he has to and just stays in a statue-like stance, all the time.

Lysander hates to admit it, but sometimes he forgets that Tancred's there, even when they're right next to each other. And it has happened more than once, which is the problem.

The biggest problem, though, was when he (and everyone else) thought Tancred was there when he wasn't.

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They know they've lost him.

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Tancred knows he's let his friends down. He knows they can help him if he lets them and if he tried to help them help him. But he knows he's gone and he's never coming back.

Because he _can't_.

Not with the sounds of rushing water that keep repeating in his head, the feeling of the saltwater clogging his nose and ears, the sensation of chlorine stinging his eyes, the need to choke out but more just comes in; not when all of them haunt his memories. The worst is the nightmares; the ones that remind him _every night_.

He knows what he needs to do, now.

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One early morning, Tancred left for the sea and never came back.

Billy was scared.

Charlie was sick.

Fidelio was panicked.

Gabriel was angry.

Olivia was dizzy.

Emma was devastated.

Lysander was numb.

But no one could honestly say they were surprised.

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**A/N: I feel terrible posting this, but I've got nothing else, so yeah. I would appreciate _any_ constructive criticism, because I _really_ need it for this. BTW, did you guys know there was a 15-document limit on Document Manager? I'm kind of upset by that. :(**

Word Count: 1,117

**Time Posted: Between 11:50 – 11:59 PM**

**- May**


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